I've been seeing a lot of James Patterson on TV. He's been promoting his new book, Kill Alex Cross by appearing in a commercial for the new Nook tablet. His previous books have been promoted on TV quite a bit--more than any other writer I can think of.
Other writers works occasionally pop up on TV, and there are always movies and TV shows based on books (or based on a character from a novel). It hasn't happened to me yet, and...it may be a while.
But what if it did happen? I've often imagined winning the lottery and doing a national ad campaign (including making a TV commercial) to promote Judgment Tramp. I wonder what would happen--would I vault to the top of the New York Times best seller list? Would a certain Mr. George Clooney play Eb Maclean in the movie?
I'm not holding my breath, partly because Eb Maclean has more of a Daniel Craig face in my imagination...that sort of ugly-but-good-looking persona--and Daniel Craig may even be too much of a stretch. Maybe I need to approach Larry the Cable Guy once I'm counting my millions.
The big question is whether the advertising would work or not, and more to the point, would the book be good enough? Am I that undiscovered gem waiting to be unearthed? Or am I the writing equivalent of "genuine cubic zirconium"...or even worse, am I destined to be stuck in the middle with you? (No offense intended...and by the way, I love that song!--but wouldn't life be easy if we were all either great or horrible at everything we tried? It would be so easy to make decisions.)
All of this "what if" stuff leads me to two different conclusions:
a. I am perfectly willing to be a guinea pig for an elaborate marketing study. Don't get me wrong--I'm not cheap...but I can be had....
I don't drink, so the mini-bar in the hotel room will be safe when I'm on my all-expenses-paid, 48 state book tour. Just promise me you will pick out the red M&M's before delivering the candy to my suite and we will get along famously...and remember that I don't take a lot of ice in my diet Sierra Mist. I need the diet soda because I just finished stuffing my face with M&M's. Thank you.
I don't drink, so the mini-bar in the hotel room will be safe when I'm on my all-expenses-paid, 48 state book tour. Just promise me you will pick out the red M&M's before delivering the candy to my suite and we will get along famously...and remember that I don't take a lot of ice in my diet Sierra Mist. I need the diet soda because I just finished stuffing my face with M&M's. Thank you.
b. It is much more likely that I will have to market my writing on the cheap. I'll have to write a blog, and be on Facebook and Twitter. I'll have to attend craft fairs and distribute handbills. I'll need to sell books at my music gigs. I will be forced to talk my writing up at every opportunity...it's tiring just to think about it! I may even have to release my books as e-books and distribute them on Amazon. (Judgment Tramp--Available Now In Kindle Format--only $2.99!)
Option b. is very sad, because it sounds like a lot of work. I wonder if I can sucker someone else into doing it for me? Hmmmm....
